Reveries
by EllaMennowPea
Summary: After a potions accident Lily is able to hop into other people's dreams, including James'.


I felt my limbs begin to tingle and go numb. The view of the hospital wing began to fade and swirl like smoke in front of my eyes as I was swept into a dream. As soon as my vision adjusted my heartbeat sped up and I'm sure my face paled. I was floating what felt like hundreds of feet in the air at the Quidditch Pitch. I looked around frantically as my breathing became erratic, and I noticed Amos Diggory was clinging to a broom like paint to a wall.

"Lily?" He asked when our eyes locked. "How are you floating like that?"

"Err—Who's winning?" I asked, desperately trying to focus his attention anywhere but on myself. My hair whipped into my face as the wind at this height grew stronger.

"They are. I'm supposed to score. I need to win this. My father is here. He's expecting me to win," His voice quivered. "I have to win!"

"You did," I exclaimed loudly, shouting over the wind. "You just did, Amos! Don't you remember? It was amazing! _You_ were amazing!"

The setting was shifting as reality swirled around us like smoke and suddenly we were back safely on the ground and people were mobbing him, lifting him in the air and cheering. His face was wide with a grin as the crowd parted to show a middle-aged man walking toward Amos. His face went from grim and sour to extraordinarily pleased as he pulled Amos into his embrace and patted his back with vigor.

The smoke returned and the dream changed. I found myself now in the backseat of an estate with Mary and her mother in the front. Scenery passed by until we arrived in front of a rather large home. They exited the car and Mary turned to the house with disdain.

"Again? Another house with no sun room? Where is my owl supposed to sleep?" Mary asked.

Her mother rolled her eyes, "Mary, don't poison this for us. I'm sure Fig can sleep in the yard or even in your room if you could keep it tidy for more than three hours."

I snickered, knowing my friend and knowing her messy habits. The sound drew Mary's attention. "Lily?"

"Nice new place!" I exclaimed, putting my arm around her shoulders. "Can I stay over?"

"Mom?" Mary turned to ask with a hopeful look.

"I suppose," her mom answered.

The dream continued when we strolled through the home as Mary gave me a tour. It made no sense. A porch with gaps in the floor, stairs that led to the ceiling, the view changing from window to window, never the same. Eventually I felt it fading, my blood began to circulate again and my vision cleared.

Mary sat up in her hospital bed. "Lily?"

"Hey," I cooed. "How you doing, champ?"

"What happened?"

"You stood up to Mulciber, that's what! I've never seen his eyes get so wide!" I laughed. "I don't think anyone has refused him in a very long time. Unfortunately, he didn't appreciate it. He, er, he called you a few choice words again. Well, one in particular."

"Spare me," She croaked. "Water?"

I handed her a glass from the table beside me. As she gulped it down, I continued, "Madame Pomfrey says you should be able to leave tomorrow morning. She asked a lot of questions, but I knew you wouldn't be comfortable with me telling her what really happened."

"Thank you, Lils. It's funny, I think I had a dream about you just now," she said. "We were walking around some house. My mom must have found a new guy and moved us in yet again to some stranger's house."

"In the dream or in real life?" I played dumb.

"In the dream, in the dream," she clarified. "She's still with Loser Lionel."

I made a gagging noise and she laughed. I stared into space, reliving the dream for a moment.

Mary called my name. "Lily…you seem different lately. What's going on with you? What's wrong?"

You have no idea, I thought to myself. If only you or anyone knew.

I tugged her blanket up closer to her chin as she lay down again. "Get some rest. I have some revising to do, but I'll be here around nine when you should be getting released."

"Thanks, Ginge." She smiled a little sadly for my liking.

"Don't mention it, Beave," I affectionately used my nickname—referencing her teeth that weren't nearly as bad as I teased her for and she knew that.

"You know you can talk to me." She said.

"I know, Mare," I smiled at her. "Night."

I got up to leave before I could be sucked into a dream while having a conversation. I didn't want to get into it. I couldn't chance her finding out, anyone finding out. As I started walking out I heard someone call my name.

"Lily, wait up!" I heard. "Evans!"

I turned to see Peter Pettigrew jogging over to me. I greeted him with a simple, "Peter."

"Are you going up to the common room?" He asked and I nodded yes. "Care to be escorted by… well, me?"

"Sure, Pete."

We walked for a full hallway in silence before I spoke up, "Thanks for offering your protective services."

He laughed, "Can't be too careful, I s'pose."

"Of course," I smiled.

"I saw what happened with Mulciber. That Macdonald, she's a tough one, eh?" He laughed. "Mulciber didn't know what to do with himself when she refused to move out of his way! Gods, it was fantastic!"

"That's Mary for you," I laughed softly as we board a staircase right before it began to move. "That idiot's been getting on her nerves for a while now. Well, he's been getting on a lot of people's nerves. He and Avery and—"

I felt my throat tighten. I couldn't help it. His name almost escaped my lips but it felt wrong to include him with those arseholes. Not my Sev, I thought back when it was happening as he stood and laughed with those dark eyes while Mulciber attacked Mary.

"Snivellus," Peter spat.

"Please don't call him that," I snapped. "He didn't pull his wand."

Peter looked at me for a moment with a weird expression that I couldn't quite distinguish. He studied me until after a moment he conceded, "No. No, he didn't."

We walked in silence for a time, passing portraits that were calling out to us and trying to force conversation. How bored they must be, I thought. We reached the third floor and made our way to the next staircase.

"You two were close, right? Back…back before?" He asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah, we grew up together. He was the first one to tell me I was magical rather than a freak."

"A freak?" Peter guffawed. The sound of his laugh startled me at first but it was a little contagious, making me smile after a moment despite myself and how I really felt. "That's rich."

"Yeah well, like you said, that was before," I said solemnly as we reached the sixth floor. "Things change."

"I'm sorry," Peter said as he stopped and I stopped beside him. It was my turn to look at and study him for a moment. I couldn't recall the last time I had a conversation with any of the boys in his group that didn't end with me being annoyed and stomping away in a huff.

"Thank you," I gave him a small smile. We stared at each other for more than a moment until the sound of thundering footsteps shook us away and we turned to see Potter and Black barreling down towards us with Lupin in tow. Remus had an exasperated look on his face.

"Wormtail!" Black shouted despite being close to us in distance. My eyebrows went up as his voice accosted my ears. Black laughed at my expression and mumbled an apology. "Sorry, Evans. Didn't mean to rock your world."

"Like you could," I laughed halfheartedly. We weren't friends but the banter was somewhat easy with Sirius and me. At least it was when they weren't doing something that made me take points away from my own bloody house.

"You sure about that? You want a demonstration?" He barked back with a laugh.

"What are you two doing walking together?" Potter finally spoke up, looking at Peter with curiosity.

"He was being my knight in shining robes," I smiled over at Peter who returned it with a look of pride. "Escorting me from the hospital wing. Wait, why were you there exactly?"

Peter looked at Remus with a panicked expression that I probably wouldn't have caught if I hadn't been staring so intently at him. "I, er, I went to grab a potion for…for me. For my…well, you see, I –"

"He has insomnia," Remus cut in. Peter looked relieved and then nodded emphatically. "He has been keeping us up so we sent him to Pomf."

"That must be frustrating not being able to sleep." I knew the feeling. I hadn't gotten an ounce of shut-eye since Gabby Vartin and her damn ingenious concoction in potions. I've been bounced around and lopped into so many—too many—dreams. I'd lost count.

"Yeah, well…" Peter trailed off. "Hopefully that changes," he said as he held up the vial containing his potion. I caught a glimpse and noted the purple colour of the liquid. I squinted, noting that most sleeping draughts were a dull blue or grey. Purple…wasn't that—

Remus swiped the liquid quickly and pocketed it before I could examine it closer.

"Well, this has been great," Remus was looking pale. His scratches were red in contrast to his skin which had a dull hue. He took a breath and then said, "See you, Lily."

With that, Sirius put his arm around Peter and steered him to the staircase, towards the common room. Peter looked back at me and I waved lightly and he smiled that same proud smile from before. Remus nudged Potter who handed him a sheet of folded parchment and then I watched as he too turned to leave.

"See you." I called. I turned to see Potter staring intently at me. "Can I help you with something?"

"Nice night," He said softly. I gave him a look with a raised eyebrow. "I heard about Mary. I wish I'd been there."

"I bet you do," I pushed past him. Only a few more staircases and then I could get ready to try and sleep. Maybe if I hurry I can get at least an hour before anyone else even starts to prepare for bed.

"C'mon, Lily. I could have helped her," He jogged to catch up to me.

"Savior James, what would we do without you?" I asked with a laugh. "She handled herself pretty well until Avery the Rat hexed her from behind."

"Git," he said under his breath. "Foul move. Such little integrity."

"Yeah, there's so much more integrity in levitating people by their feet and dropping their trousers in front of everyone," I didn't mean to say it honestly. It came out. With all that talk earlier about Sev, I just couldn't help myself.

"You're still on that?" He asked. "Evans, that was so long ago. And you know he was asking for it! What he—what he called you? He needed to be taught that that wasn't acceptable."

"So you're a teacher now?" I asked as we reached the seventh floor.

"I didn't say that," Potter put his hand in front of him.

I stopped walking, making him look foolish when he had to halt after noticing my absence from his side. He turned around to face me. James sighed, "I'm sorry, okay? I just…I might have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to you. When it comes to people who want to…who want to hurt you. I can't…"

His face looked pained as he spoke, as though he was picturing something distasteful.

"You can't what?" I asked with my arms folded in front of me. I saw his eyes briefly glimpse down at my chest before he caught himself and looked away, his hand shooting into his hair.

"I apologized to him, alright? He'd never accept it, but I did. So I'd rather move on if that's all the same to you." He ruffled his hair and then his hand went to his side. He stood there looking at me, staring. After a while he spoke "I've changed."

"I know," I said through my pursed lips. Even I could concede that since becoming Quidditch Captain and Head Boy, James had matured and been able to ace every challenge thrown his way. Maybe he really did have a blind spot but that didn't excuse it…

"No patrol tonight," He changed the subject.

"No patrol tonight," I said gleefully. A chance to sleep, to sleep for real! Maybe I should try to take advantage of this? I could always sleep in the common room? Claim I fell asleep revising? Yeah, yeah I would do that.

"What are you thinking about?" James asked as I was devising my plan.

"Nothing," I replied as I stepped forward, continuing towards the common room portrait hole.

I waited until I heard the roar from downstairs quiet to a murmur before I chanced walking downstairs from the dorm. Marlene was running drills with Hestia at the Quidditch Pitch, and they wouldn't notice me in the corner when they returned right before curfew. I was dressed in a new nightgown my mother had sent me, and while I liked the look of it I couldn't help but feel a little too exposed as I walked down the steps.

I peered over the railing into the common room and only saw a handful of people, mostly younger students. I crept down and over to the corner by the window and laid down, pulling my blanket over myself rather quickly so that my legs weren't so visible. I pulled a book out and flipped to a random page before placing it in front of me and then relaxing. To the unknowing, I was merely studying too hard and fell asleep. I could hear conversations a ways away but paid no mind. Tonight, I needed to get some real sleep instead of just being thrown into my dormmates' dreams.

I woke up to the sound of the portrait hole opening and three voices whooping and laughing. I had to force myself not to react.

"No, but when he threw you into the lake though?" Peter's voice was light and full of laughter. "Oh, Prongs, I have never in my life seen a stag try not to drown but it was hilarious."

"What part was hilarious, Pete? The flailing and splashing or the part where I couldn't breathe and couldn't grip anything because stags don't have thumbs?"

"All of it, mate, the whole thing," Peter laughed.

"You're welcome by the way," Sirius' voice floated to my ears. He was speaking quietly like James. Where was Remus? Those idiots rarely went anywhere not in a pack. "It wasn't exactly easy dragging you out."

"Yeah, thanks for the bite marks on the back of my neck that I'll have to hide," Potter said.

"Such little gratitude!" Sirius exclaimed. "Next time drown you ungrateful—"

"Shh!" I heard and almost jumped from the abruptness of it. I heard Potter say, "Is that who I think it is?"

"Better steal a kiss, Prongs. It's the only way to ever get one," Peter laughed until I heard a sharp thud and then he exclaimed, "Hey!"

"Shut up! You'll wake her," James said. He was getting closer.

"Can you imagine her face when she wakes up to see James Potter standing over her?" I heard Peter remark. "She'll hex you into the next century."

"Nah, she wouldn't," Sirius laughed. "That bird's changed her tune ever since Prongs became Head Wanker. Seeing him with a badge on his chest probably creams her knickers."

"Don't talk about her like that," James snapped. Pause. "You really think so?"

"Piss off," Sirius laughed as he started ascending the stairs to the boys' dormitory. Peter laughed and the sound wound up the staircase with them.

"Lily," James whispered but I refused to move. I wasn't going to explain or be told to go to my dorm. I felt a breath near me and couldn't help but shiver. James asked quietly, "Cold?"

I didn't answer. Suddenly I felt him wrapping a blanket on top of the blanket that was already pretty much covering all of me. James' smell wafted up to me and I couldn't help breathe in deeply as I subconsciously retreated into the warmth the second blanket brought.

"Don't worry," I heard him whisper from the chair a few feet away. "I'll keep watch."

The next few minutes were both very confusing and very strange. I listened as he seemingly laid down and began to fall asleep. Figures, I thought, just when I was about to get a full night's rest. Take your supposed chivalry and shove it, Potter. I want to sleep.

It took an hour maybe more for him to dream. We were in a corridor and I was behind him as he walked with Sirius. The two talked about nonsense for a while until suddenly we appeared on the Quidditch Pitch. McGonagall was lecturing as the team sat on the grass in front of her. Beside James there was a trunk and inside it appeared to be a bunch of Halloween decorations and costumes. James was sorting through it strategically when he looked up and we locked eyes.

"Lily," He smiled. The rest of the team disappeared and I was suddenly so very aware of how I was alone with Potter in his own dream. The setting, I'm sure, where I've been before in his head doing any number of depraved acts.

He walked towards me with that same smile, and I started to shake uncontrollably. "Cold?"

Suddenly his arms were around me and I was again surrounded by his scent. The scent a mixture of grass, some cologne maybe, and something just innately…boy, but it was pleasant smelling at least. I felt him hug me and then he kissed my neck.

I've never had anyone kiss my neck before but the sensation of it with the feeling of his breath on my neck was enough to make my stomach flip. I blushed and stepped away from him before he did anything more.

"Whoa there, cowboy," I put my hands in front of me.

"Cowboy?" James laughed. "I like it better when you say my name."

In an instant, James was in front of me with his hands on my hips. He kissed my neck again and then whispered, "Say my name?"

"No," I couldn't help but giggle annoyingly. The sensation was making me feel strange. It was making me feel a way I'd never felt before.

"I love it when you laugh at something I say," He kissed my neck one more time and that stupid giggle came out again. He smiled against my skin, "I think I like it better when you laugh at something I do though."

"Well maybe if you were funny I would laugh more," I told him a bit too seriously. I needed to stop this. I couldn't risk him noticing that I wasn't acting how he wanted me to. I couldn't risk him noticing I wasn't like the rest of his dream.

"That's not very nice," he chuckled. His face turned serious. "I tried, you know. That day at the lake. It was supposed to be for you. It's always just been for you. I'm just…I'm just a prat, Lily. I didn't and I don't mean to be, but you're my blind spot."

"Why do you keep saying that?" I couldn't help but snap.

"What?"

"You said that to me earlier in the corridor. That I'm your blind spot. Is that supposed to excuse it all? The torment you inflicted on my friend?"

"N-No!" James stammered. "I'm sorry, Lily. In the corridor…earlier…"

My eyes went wider as his squinted at me somewhat in confusion. Suddenly the air shifted around us and the scenery looked weirdly lifelike for a dream. Almost like…I froze as I looked back at James and realized he was analyzing me.

"Why are you in a nightgown at the Quidditch Pitch, Lily?" James asked me. I looked down and sure enough I was standing in broad daylight in a nightgown that barely covered my legs.

I panicked inwardly but outwardly gaped until a solution popped in my head, "For you."

"For me?" He asked in confusion.

"You bet," I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck, his scent greeting me again. I went for the least awful option and pushed my head into his chest. I felt his chin fall onto my head as he pulled me closer.

"Well I guess then it's okay," he was smiling, I could hear it in his voice. "Come here."

He placed his finger under my chin and tilted it up until we were face to face. I realized a moment too late that he was going to kiss me. I was going to have my first kiss in a dream. Did that count?

Our lips met and at first I did not move an inch. I was rigid. But then he pulled away and stared at me questioningly. I realized I had to play along.

"Hi," I whispered smiling at him.

"Hey there," he returned. He kissed me again but this time, I let myself try to enjoy it. The moment I returned the kiss, he deepened it and pulled me tighter with his hand on the small of my back and he brought the other to the back of my neck.

James moaned as we kissed and I felt my stomach drop again. As his lips left mine and went my neck, I sighed. "Do that again."

"What?"

"Make that sound again," I practically begged him.

James laughed, "Whatever you say."

He kissed me again, moaned, and my stomach flipped making me let out a noise that seemed to really spur him on.

"Fuck," he said against my lips. "I get it now."

I laughed. I couldn't really be enjoying this? "Oh, do you?"

"I—I want…I want to…" He wasn't making sense. Then the scenery changed a little and a blanket appeared beside me. He sat down and extended a hand to me and helped me sit down. I pushed my legs down and tried to remain fully covered by this stupid nightgown.

James kissed me and as our lips met I felt him push against me until we were leaning, falling down to lay on the blanket below. He smiled against my lips, "This is so…I wish this happened all the time."

"What are you talking about?" I laughed.

"Nothing," He began kissing and then sucking my neck. Gods if this wasn't just amazing.

"James," I sighed.

"Fuck, Lily, please never stop moaning my name," he chuckled as his lips continued down to kiss along my neck and collarbone and chest. I felt his hands start to wander and almost told him to slow down but realized that might blow my cover. I wasn't uncomfortable so I didn't much care.

"James," I smiled. "James. James."

"Good girl," he said into my skin. His hand started to move up my leg, and I realized I didn't mind. Then the sound came. The chiming. I heard it distantly and everything around us began to fade.

"No," Was the last thing I heard before I sat up as my limbs began to tingle from the numbness wearing off. I opened my eyes to see James Potter spread horizontally along the armchair not that far from me staring at me as it seemed he had just awoke as well.

"James," I rubbed my eyes and tried to pretend to be confused at what he was doing there. I pretended to not notice him maneuvering so that his crotch wasn't visible. Luckily, I didn't have the problem.

As I sat up, the blankets fell from me and I moved to push my legs over the side of the couch suddenly feeling a little too warm.

"What are you wearing?" his voice sounded shocked and when I looked over I noticed his eyes glued to the stupid nightgown. I quickly pulled the blankets over myself again. "How…?"

"Go away, Potter. No one asked you to be here." I laid back down and pulled the blankets back over myself. I rolled over towards the couch and closed my eyes, determined to sleep.

"Woah, cowboy," I stiffened at his voice. While the words were playful his tone was flat, searching. "Ease up."

"You think you're funny," I sighed. "Just let me get some real sleep!"

"What?"

"Leave," I begged. "Please. Please just leave."

"You bet," he said as he got up and I heard him walk up the stairs.

Finally, I closed my eyes and rested.


End file.
